White Girl Goes to Africa, Isn't Trying to Save Anybody

Let’s get one thing straight. My experience in Sudan is entirely shaped by the privilege that I’m a white woman. This privilege has affected my time here so far both positively and negatively. It is interesting because at times socially acceptable behavior for being white and at the same time a woman are at tension with one another. Sometimes there isn’t space for being a white woman.

The other night we heard there was a football (soccer) game at the nearby stadium. We asked our Sudanese friend if women could go and he said “Yes ma mushkila” (no problem). Ok great. So together joined by two British guys who had arrived less than a week ago we set off to the stadium.  It is far too hot to play during the day so it was a night game Mars (which is short for something I never quite caught) against Khartoum 3.  Inside the stadium we stopped to take a picture and soon found a crowd of people also wanting a photo…with us. By now I wasn’t really surprised people have starred and even once stopped a friend at tea for a photo, but I hadn’t gone celebrity status till this.  While this could have been an uncomfortable amount of attention in this instance I mostly found the attention funny. The people were soooo happy we came to the game. We made it to the stands where the two guys were whisked off among the crowd and a band cheering and singing. They lifting the boys up on their shoulders and hoisted them around for a while. The rest of the game we watched by the band and cheered when Mars overtook K3 3-1. We even enjoyed a cup of tea during the game. It didn't escape Rachel or I that we were the only women football fans in the entire stadium. The only other women were the sita chai (tea ladies) serving tea.

Did I mention we sat with the band?

Going to the game might be my favorite experience so far. It also opened me up to an important lesson that most restrictions on women are societal norms and not written laws. They are more about social acceptance than what is permissible and what is forbidden. I honestly can’t even do the subject of gender differences justice yet but am going to give it a shot to show my first impressions. Who knows in two weeks or more time I’ll look back on this post and just shake my head.

Kawaja Sudanese Football Fans

There is still a lot I’m learning about Sudanese women. Sad truth is I've only probably talked to a couple dozen or so Sudanese women so far so you can imagine how little my knowledge is about the subject. I did talk CC: football game to one very educated Sudanese woman  who spent some years abroad in Dubai. I wanted her to know I wasn’t trying to say “Because there were no women there Sudanese women must be oppressed” As a white woman who has been in the country for one month and talked to a dozen Sudanese women I have no place to make that statement.

Space is very gendered in Sudan. At night when we would go to an outside restaurant on the side of the street to have some ful (traditional Sudanese meal of refried beans and oil) we noticed there were only men. Even when we went for a big meal at a friend’s family house the women ate together in one room and the men ate in another (and the khawajas ate in another).  Women won’t have tea on the side of the street, but they’ll have it on Nile Street. Generally, more men than women are out and about in the markets. You won’t see groups of women in the market shopping together but you’ll see groups at the indoor shopping mall. At any public space you would find more men than women. This doesn’t mean I never see women in the market or that women “aren’t allowed.” I have even seen, on multiple occasions, a woman ride the bus by herself at night. I have heard a story of a women volunteer who traveled to a place outside Khartoum where she was only allowed to go to market on Sundays and had to be accompanied by a man. I’m still trying to learn what is socially acceptable in Khartoum. Something hard to decode for an outsider is women’s clothing decisions based on where they are going and how they are getting there.

There is a law I’ve been told about that women aren’t allowed to stand on public buses. If all the seats are taken a man is supposed to offer his seat to stand or the woman must wait for the next bus. I’ve seen both of these situations occur. I’ve also seen a group of young women standing on a bus. Women also aren’t allowed to wear pants at public universities.

In my conversation with my Sudanese friend I tried to explain to her that when I told my friends or family back home about the game they would immediately think “something must be wrong if there were no women” “Why aren’t women allowed?” and that there is some injustice “Women must be oppressed in Sudan”. And I can’t say with 100% confidence that they are wrong, but from where I stand it’s not my place to make that judgment.  But Ryan…you might start, women in “these types” of societies have been brainwashed by their “traditional” culture and will never be over to overcome it alone. STOP.

Sudanese women are smart. Some of the few who I’ve met are very educated and have traveled abroad across Africa and to other countries; they know when society is screwing them over. My friend hypothesized with me “Maybe Sudanese women don’t like football.” “Maybe they don’t go because they don’t want to be looked at,” she gestured and I knew she couldn’t find the right words in English. Women shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable in public space. Yes I agree with you, women in Sudan, the United States, everywhere shouldn’t feel fear in public spaces just because they are women.

No. Just, no.

Generally, women know when they are being oppressed. Women know when they are being treated as second class citizens.  Unfortunately there isn’t much hard data on this topic for the case of Sudan, but there is no doubt in places were civil rights are suffering women are bearing a huge weight of that suffering.  Being an ally to women’s causes which also fly as human rights  is important but I don’t know, actually, talking to these women before you form some opinion on their lives/ culture/ society is better.